Learning to love the stillness

How are you? Keeping busy! This is how most conversations go when we run into friends and acquaintances around town. I am almost always busy and if I'm not, I feel like I should be. Whether it's as a badge of honor, or simply a state of being, running kids, managing a home, building a career... moms are busy.

Over the past year, there have been moments of stress and uncomfortableness that pushed me into uncharted territory, but with that ultimately came an incredible gift of stillness, reflection, and clarity. Circumstances aligned where I was no longer having to work full time and I had the freedom to starting thinking about the next chapter. At first I dove in headfirst, working on a business plan, organizing every closet in the house, taking on every project. I stayed busy...all day...every day. I was more exhausted not working than when I was working full time. But what I needed wasn't to be busy, I needed to be still.

This spring, a few months into my business planning and non stop running, on a warm and sunny day, I had a sudden urge to be outside. I ran to the store and picked up a hammock and hardware to hang it from the large trees in our backyard. Thirty minutes later I was laying in the sunshine, and it was wonderful... for about 30 seconds. Being anything other than "busy" in the middle of a weekday felt self indulgent, lazy, unproductive, I was anxious just laying there.

The next day I set a timer, 5 minutes- no phone, no distractions. Just stillness. It was HARD. But over time, I worked up to 10 minutes, 20 minutes, sometimes an hour. I began to learn to not only enjoy the stillness, but also find the value of stillness. The restorative value of stillness ( just like meditation, or relaxation, or just physical and mental rest) paved the way for increased energy, creativity, and so much more.

I learned not only that it's ok to take 30 minutes to just drink my coffee and listen to the birds, or lay in the hammock (sometimes alone, sometimes with a good book, sometimes with one of the kids), but that it's necessary. I have found my way into the back into the stillness and am better for it.

I have always loved a hammock! Lake Metigoshe ND 1983